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Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Now What?

After finding out that day we were having a baby, we sat around the fire just talking about what our plans were next.  And my biggest worry was what would people think?  I wasn’t worried about how I was going to raise my baby, what important things I needed to do and all the things that come with a baby, I was thinking about other people.  That’s the problem with the world we live in (especially Utah)… Too many people point fingers, or judge before they even look at themselves.  I know I wasn’t living my life how I was raised to, and I know what I believed in, but why did I worry so much about what others were going to think. Through the rest of our camping trip Joey listened to all my worries, and he helped me feel strong.  He was always there listening through all of this.  I’m sure he had no idea what was up ahead, but he did everything he could to help me with the struggles we were about to embark on.  We definitely wanted to get married, and would have been already if it wasn’t for money, so the plan was to get married before I started showing so I could fit in the dress I wanted to.  We wanted to tell people before we got married that we were pregnant.  I wanted people to know that we weren’t ashamed, and we had nothing to hide.  We were about to bring a perfect baby into the world, why would we hide or be ashamed of something so beautiful?  To be honest at first I didn’t want to tell anyone.  I wanted to just maybe tell our parents and that’s it.  And then let everyone else find out after we were married.  But we didn’t want people talking about us on our wedding day or after.  I didn’t want people whispering about how they think we got married just because of our baby. I wanted people to know… We were having a baby, and we were in love and WANTED to get married.  Yeah we did it a little backwards, and I’m sure people still talked… The lesson that I learned here was that people will think what they want. True, I wish that people could respect others, and not judge one another but in the world we live in, that will never happen.  So we have to live our lives as best we can, not worrying about others, and take the steps in life that we see is best for us.  Mistakes are made, however it’s up to you to learn and grow and see the bigger picture.  I was living my life how I probably never thought I would, and Heavenly Father blessed me with a baby to grow and see the path that really was laid out for me… We never tried hiding who we were or what we did.  We started our family, and I will never look back.

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